


What the Flowers Know

by lunarblossoms



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25021273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarblossoms/pseuds/lunarblossoms
Summary: "You say they're romantic…?" Something about that… resonates with Yusuke, though just as he can't put his artist's block into words, this too evades him.Akira looks even more sheepish but he plays it off with a grin. "Apparently the meaning for several different colors of carnations is a declaration of love."
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Kitagawa Yusuke, Kitagawa Yusuke/Kurusu Akira, Kitagawa Yusuke/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	What the Flowers Know

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Found a Light zine, a wonderful project that I was blessed to be a part of. My theme was red carnations, with a meaning of deep, romantic love. Check out their [twitter](https://twitter.com/foundalightzine) for more of the lovely fics and artwork that were created!
> 
> So happy to share this story now and I hope you all enjoy~

Yusuke has never been one to question his impulses, especially not when it comes to his art. so when he wakes up this particular morning with an acute sense that there's something he must draw, something specific lingering at the back of his mind, veiled by such an intangible fog that he can't focus on it or distinguish what it is... He's more than eager to find the answer.

It's strange, really. Over the past few years, Yusuke has managed to establish himself in the art world with spectacular ease and he's rather well known by now, quite popular in Japan. During this time, he's never run into a problem like this. In fact, he'd thought more than once just how blessed he was, to be able to live out his dream, and to draw and paint to his heart's content without the hindrances that used to plague him.

So what is it now that clouds his thoughts?

It's unsettling and no matter how hard Yusuke tries to comprehend it, he comes up empty handed, like he's just grasping at grains of sand that slip through his fingers.

He had thought himself beyond this. 

Sitting on the side of his bed in his apartment, he rests his head in his hands and tries to fight the familiar, creeping sensation that fills his chest. A feeling he hasn't felt since high school, since Madarame used to hang as a shadow over his head even on the clearest days. Insecurity. Self spite. Hopelessness.

His heart aches keenly and he clutches at his chest. He's thinking and feeling too much and he needs to stop. He needs a distraction.

Without noticing, his body seems to have a destination in mind. The smell of coffee mixed with the softest floral aroma. An image of a smile like the sun in his mind's eye. Yes, that place will do nicely.

It doesn't take him long to arrive. A short train ride later, Yusuke finds himself in front of the establishment and he doesn't hesitate to enter. The sound of a bell tingles above him with the opening of the door and seconds after, a familiar voice full of warmth calls out from farther back, "I'll be with you shortly!"

Even that's enough to give Yusuke some peace of mind as he approaches the counter and seats himself on a stool. It feels like the good old days when he would come to Leblanc after school and sketch over warm coffee and pleasant conversation. Some things may have changed over the years, but some remain ever constant: a great comfort.

He isn't waiting more than a few minutes before he hears the connecting door open and quick footsteps across the tiled floor. Before he can catch sight of the approaching figure, however, he feels the gentlest brush of fingers through his hair, a sensation that sets off a strange fluttering in his chest like butterfly wings. A flower, he realizes belatedly, red and ruffled, placed delicately over his ear. He gazes up and meets glowing brown eyes, a tender smile. "A-Akira," he says, unable to calm the erratic beating of his heart, nor the unflattering stutter in his voice.

Akira chuckles. "Yusuke," he returns, seemingly very pleased both with how the flower looks and with Yusuke's reaction as he moves around Yusuke's chair and behind the counter. "I'm glad you stopped by. The regular?"

Yusuke takes a moment to respond, oddly captivated by just watching Akira, the way his hair splays across his forehead, the arch of his body as he slips on and ties his apron with nimble fingers, the flitter of long eyelashes against pretty cheeks. He knows that Akira's always had this inherent grace in everything he does, but for some reason, he can't help but be drawn in, more so than usual. "Ah, yes," he says after a pause, feeling the faintest of blushes painting his cheeks when he notices that Akira's tilting his head at him. "That would be most appreciated."

"Coming right up." Akira grins at him and then immediately sets to work preparing the coffee. Every step, from choosing the right beans down to the way he fills the mug, is done with the utmost precision and the experience of someone who's been doing this for years and could probably make the perfect cup of coffee with his eyes closed. Mesmerizing, yet again, Yusuke catches himself thinking as the scent of fresh coffee grows stronger.

"So," Akira says presently, setting the steaming mug in front of Yusuke. "What's on your mind?"

Yusuke blinks first at the hot drink and then at Akira, his eyes widening as he processes the words. Leave it to his friend to know instinctively that Yusuke is struggling. He's always had a knack for it ever since they were in high school, after all.

"I…" How to explain… He phrases it over and over in his head but nothing sounds right, and the prickle of shame is creeping up again, which he would certainly rather avoid. He coughs and picks up the coffee bringing the cup to his lips without yet drinking. "Nothing of importance. I merely wished to be in your presence today. That is all." It isn't that he thinks Akira would belittle him for having a case of artist's block again- especially because it was Akira who helped him through it in the first place. But something has him holding his tongue regardless, the same inkling hovering at the back of his mind that he's missing something even now. Explaining what he can't even comprehend sounds pointless, not to mention burdensome on his friend, so he'll leave it at that. "Please," he says instead. "tell me how the flower shop is coming. I'd love to hear about the new flowers you've been growing since my last visit."

Whether Akira is cognizant of the turmoil in Yusuke's mind, he gives no indication and offers a tender smile as he reaches out to again touch the red flower he had given Yusuke. The touch, though focused on the crimson petals, seems to spark something in Yusuke's chest as if he had actually graced Yusuke's skin in lieu of the flora, a spreading warmth that reminds Yusuke of the sun on a summer evening, soft and glowing.

"This is one of the new batches of seeds Haru's been growing," Akira tells him. "Carnations. She says they'll be popular for confessions and romantic gifts, and I have to admit I'm quite fond of them." He laughs a little, his hand moving from the flower to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly. "Elegant, don't you think?"

"Yes, quite," Yusuke readily agrees. "You say they're romantic…?" Something about that… resonates with him, though just as he can't put his artist's block into words, this too evades him.

Akira looks even more sheepish but he plays it off with a grin. "Apparently the meaning for several different colors of carnations is a declaration of love."

Yusuke sips his coffee to steady himself. The red carnation that sits atop his ear, vibrant and poignant… Does it hold such meaning? And similarly, did Akira give it to Yusuke intentionally? Could he possibly… No. It's too overwhelming to consider that train of thought so Yusuke shakes his head and brings his attention back to the coffee, which tastes as amazing as it always does when Akira makes it. Akira's true calling has always been the mastery of coffee beans. Well, that and his undeniable knack for working with flowers. "I would like to see all your new flowers- once I've finished drinking, of course," he says. "I believe such prime specimens will be the perfect inspiration for my next painting."

"Then I would be glad to indulge," Akira replies, delighted. "Anything for your art. We have some new blooms that need to be moved into different pots for the store's display so you couldn't have chosen a better time for flower viewing."

As soon as Yusuke has finished his coffee- which, he would shamefully admit, he drank faster than usual in his anticipation of watching Akira at work- he lets Akira swap the sign out front from 'open' to 'closed' and then the two of them maneuver through the connecting door into the floral section of the building. The scents of all the different flowers mingle together in a way that is powerful but not overwhelming, immersing him more and more as he follows Akira to the back of the shop, where Yusuke spots several rows of planters that look to have been freshly brought from Haru's greenhouse. The colors are vibrant: reds, blues, yellows, and pinks standing out with grace amidst the greenery. Akira must see how Yusuke's eyes shine while he looks at them because he chuckles fondly and then gestures between the blooms and Yusuke himself. "Don't let me hold you back. Feel free to start sketching whenever you want."

Yusuke glances at Akira, at that beautiful, heartfelt smile, and then he pulls out his sketchbook, gluing his eyes to the blank pages so he can ignore the pointed blush he feels dyeing his cheeks. "Very well, then." 

As Yusuke sits down on the tiled floor and Akira gets started with transferring the flowers, Yusuke finds himself wondering if it's actually the flowers he'll be sketching.

Dirt covered fingers carefully cradling roots, pale skin clashing with the bright hues of rippling petals. Gentle eyes gazing down at the fruit of his labors like the flowers are his children rather than just plants in ceramic pots. Carnations, he called them… Yusuke can't help thinking these flowers were meant to be handled by Akira, their delicacy matched by the tender touch of his hands as he settles them into their new homes.

But every mark made on the page by Yusuke's pencil is small, lacking a whole; as if he's only capable of viewing parts but not the entirety and he just keeps finding himself distracted. How could he not be? Akira is practically ethereal, fits right in with the flowers as if he were some kind of god or fairy, captivatingly handsome and magical in his own right… perhaps even more than the flowers.

Ah. Handsome.

Perhaps Yusuke intentionally avoided the word in the past. But how can he now? How had he ever when Akira is undoubtedly the most attractive man Yusuke has ever seen? He remembers clearly a scene from their high school years, when they were still the Phantom Thieves. Their group had made plans to view fireworks together to celebrate the theft of Kaneshiro's treasure, and the girls had told Akira to come without his glasses, to make the occasion more special.

And Yusuke hadn't thought much on it at first, because glasses could hardly make much of an aesthetic impact, could they? Of course, he had been painfully wrong.

When Akira had shown up in casual clothes without his glasses perched on his nose, Yusuke had been almost certain he was going into cardiac arrest. What other explanation could there be for the wildly erratic beating of his heart in his chest, so hard that it felt as if it would explode right out from under his ribcage?

He never told the others- and he had certainly said nothing in the moment- but when the storms hit and the group had been rained on before they had the chance to enjoy the fireworks, Yusuke truly hadn't minded all that much. Not when Akira's shirt clung to his form so perfectly, his wet hair framing his gorgeous face as if he were a model in some far too successful commercial. God, Yusuke could have stared and stared.

… Much like he's doing now, in fact.

His whole face feels like it's on fire as he forces himself to look down at his sketchbook instead. He should start a new page, maybe then he'll be able to focus.

But he can't. Now there's something even more familiar, brewing under the surface, something that simmers in his gut and fills in the spaces between his bones. It envelops his chest until it's pulsing in every beat of his heart, so strong that he impulsively tightens his grip on his pencil and clutches his sketchbook to his chest.

He wants to kiss Akira.

It wouldn't be the first time, and it probably won't be the last either. He remembers so many times before, just as he had found Akira attractive so often before: he's wanted to kiss Akira for so long and yet he's never acted on that feeling.

When they'd stolen Madarame's treasure and Akira had formally welcomed Yusuke into the Phantom Thieves with the warmest of smiles, treating him as if he belonged there when Yusuke felt so certain before that he didn't belong anywhere… That strange tightness in Yusuke's chest, the urge to cry not from sadness but from pure joy, that he finally felt as if he had found his home and it was thanks to Akira for never giving up on him. Sitting across from Akira at the diner that evening, it had been so easy for Yusuke to imagine leaning over the table and showing Akira how much this meant to him rather than telling him. Of course, he hadn't and the mere thought had been enough to make his hands shake a little as they continued their meal.

That hadn't been the worst of it, though. The night Yusuke had stayed over at Leblanc was the pinnacle moment in which Yusuke had been so overwhelmed by the desire to kiss Akira that he'd almost gone through with it. Almost.

Yusuke had been fine with sleeping on the couch, he really had- but Akira wouldn't have it. They had talked back and forth about it, because Yusuke didn't want to steal Akira's bed just as much as Akira didn't like the idea of Yusuke sleeping on the sofa, until Akira's suggestion: "Why don't we just share my bed, then?"

They had, in the end. Akira had seemed very satisfied with the arrangement so it wasn't like Yusuke could have said no. But laying next to Akira in the same bed, their closeness building heat between them, consuming Yusuke's heart… It had taken every ounce of his strength not to kiss Akira when he turned over and bore witness to the beautiful sight of Akira's peaceful, slumbering face. Like an angel, he'd thought- and still thinks, if he recalls the scene once more.

So easy, it would have been, to kiss Akira like that. Alone in Akira's room, sleeping side by side, so close that if Yusuke shifted he could have curled right up with Akira, their limbs entangling, breath mingling.

But still he hadn't.

Again and again, Yusuke has fought the urge each time it presented itself. When he and Akira went on the boat ride; when Akira helped him find the motivation to keep painting and move past his initial artist's block; when Akira appeared outside Yusuke's cell in the Velvet Room, reminding him of his courage in the face of overwhelming adversity and helping him back on his feet so they could save the world from Yaldabaoth together. Everything- Akira's kindness, his compassion, his gentle support whenever Yusuke's been in need… It all compounds in Yusuke's mind into a single word that steals his breath away instantly, as if he had taken a blow to the chest that knocked all the air from his lungs.

An epiphany, and perhaps one that in retrospect should have hit him far before now. It should have been obvious from the very beginning, in fact. It's as if all the puzzle pieces have abruptly fallen into place and the fog has lifted in his head, leaving behind the crystal clear truth at the center of it all.

Love. He loves Akira.

He's been in love with Akira all this time and he hadn't realized it until now. Years and years he'd spent pushing these feelings down, trying to pretend he didn't know; but he always knew, didn't he? There's no other explanation and that's why the realization now is all the more jarring. So obvious and yet hiding in plain sight, right at the edge of Yusuke's fingertips, if he would've ever bothered to reach out and grasp it.

"Yusuke." Akira's voice breaks Yusuke out of his revelation and Yusuke glances up immediately to find Akira watching him with a tender fondness, smiling while he pats down one of the flowers he had just finished planting.

Though belated, Yusuke at least remembers to respond despite the overpowering weight of his current insight. "Y-yes?"

Akira tilts his head. "What are you thinking about? You stopped sketching several minutes ago and you seem to have a lot going on in your head." An invitation, Yusuke notes. Akira is once again reminding Yusuke that he has a haven in Akira's presence, a chance to talk without fear of judgment. And Yusuke wants to tell him. He doesn't want to keep anything from Akira this time, not when he finally knows the truth.

But where should Yusuke even begin? How does one tell the object of their affections that they have at last come to terms with their feelings and recognize just how much they're in love? It's so daunting that Yusuke struggles to find a simple starting point. "I… That is to say, you..." Akira blinks at him and Yusuke starts to feel flustered, blush returning, his heartbeat stuttering like a broken record as he contemplates what to say. He reaches up absentmindedly and fidgets with the flower over his ear while he attempts to find the words, his fingers carefully running along the smooth petals.

… Wait. 

What if he really was right? Akira had said that carnations were used to declare one's love, and if Yusuke feels this strongly about Akira, then maybe… Just maybe it's not one-sided.

"Akira," he says slowly, pointedly, pulling the flower out from behind his ear and holding it in his palm. "What exactly does a red carnation symbolize?"

Akira freezes instantly, hands still covered in soil, eyes widening as he gazes at Yusuke. Surprise flashes in his pupils, followed by the briefest glimpse of anxiety; then there's a soft, sheepish smile on his lips, and a rosy blush painting his cheeks like a canvas. So beautiful, Yusuke thinks, unable to ignore the thought even remotely. 

"... Deep romantic love," Akira finally says, his voice a whisper.

And there's that feeling again, blossoming so strong in Yusuke's chest that it seems to completely take root there. Yes, Yusuke isn't going to ignore it this time.

"May I kiss you?" He asks bluntly.

Akira doesn't hesitate before he answers. "I thought you'd never ask." Teasing words, but the look on Akira's face betrays his unbridled joy, warmth emanating from him in waves like pure sunlight. Yusuke could almost melt under that warmth, like the snow that thaws with the coming of spring.

A mutual love, in the end.

He abandons his sketchbook and moves toward Akira, kneeling down where his friend sits on the floor by the flower pots. Dirt under his fingernails, flora left untransferred; but Yusuke doesn't care at all, not when he's finally about to fulfill the dream he had never dared allow himself to dream. He leans in, subconsciously raising one hand to the small of Akira's back and the other to the back of Akira's neck. And though he doesn't lift his own hands, Akira responds by moving closer and meeting Yusuke halfway.

When his lips find Akira's, the entire world seems to explode in color, as if he hadn't even realized that everything had merely been in black and white before, but Akira brings with him all the hues on the palette to decorate Yusuke in vibrant light. His touch is gentle, his lips so smooth and soft, and as if a switch has been flipped in Yusuke's mind, everything suddenly makes sense.

This is what he was missing. This is the reason he hadn't been able to figure out what he wanted to paint. This is why he came to find Akira when he felt lost this morning.

"I love you, Akira," he breathes out quietly in between kisses, each one cementing the warmth that grows outward from his heart and spreads its branches into every inch, every corner of his being.

"I love you too, Yusuke," Akira replies, all the affection in the world resounding in his words.

Unlike the fog that had clouded his vision before, now Yusuke can see the canvas clearly in his mind. Red carnations littering the space big and small, crimson petals dancing around the profile of the most beautiful man in the world. He'll paint Akira with the flowers that helped him find the answer he needed all along.

He'll paint the man he loves.


End file.
